


Hearts in Turmoil

by Kinni



Series: Yuri Multichapter Stories [2]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Bullying, Discussed Sexual Abuse, Eventual Sexual Content, F/F, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Implied Sexual Abuse, Medium Burn, Psychological issues, Rare Pairings, Redemption, emotional issues, rarepairs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-07-25 09:14:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16194554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kinni/pseuds/Kinni
Summary: After her father's death, Hiyoko is comforted by her favorite bullying target, Mikan. Finding herself rethinking how she felt about her, Hiyoko decides to pay her back by protecting her from other bullies. However, she slowly starts to develop feelings for Mikan, and at the same time has to deal with the psychological scars she discovers when getting to know her better.Their relationship will be marked by struggle.





	1. Grief and Regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikan comforts Hiyoko.

Life was unpredictable. That was a refrain often repeated in a lot of forms and variations by essentially every single culture in the world. And it was very true. Sometimes, one's story took paths that they could never have imagined, and frequently it didn't even take much to send a person's fate into a wildly different direction.

The day that changed the fates of both Hiyoko Saionji and Mikan Tsumiki couldn't really be considered a normal day, but even so, the way the events transpired on that day was perhaps the most unlikely of all possible paths that destiny could have taken.

It all started in the morning, when Hiyoko received the kind of news that no one would ever want to receive.

+0+

She was sitting in class when one of the coordinators appeared at the door and said that the Principal was calling for her.

Hiyoko had no idea what could be the reason for her to be called to the Principal's office, but she went anyway, since there was no reason not to (the classes weren't that interesting).

Upon arriving at the room, the Principal motioned for her to sit down, his features heavy. That was when Hiyoko started to understand that the situation was truly serious. However, that still didn't prepare her for what she would hear.

“What is it?” She asked after sitting down, her usual aggressive manner only slightly accentuated by her growing unease.

The Principal didn't seem to mind “I know this is going to be difficult to hear, but I ask you to stay calm.” He said “I regretfully have to inform you that your father, Takeda Saionji... Has passed away.”

Upon hearing that, Hiyoko suddenly felt faint “No.” She said “You're lying!” She accused angrily “Or you're mistaken!”

His expression didn't shift “I would prefer if that was the case as well, but I have verified the information thoroughly. There is no doubt.”

“No... It can't be...” Hiyoko said, slowly getting up “That can't be!” She screamed.

Knowing that there was nothing he could say to make things any easier, the Principal remained silent.

Hiyoko shoved the chair to the side and ran out of the Principal's office. She wasn't trying to go anywhere, but just running without direction or thought.

Seeing that it would be best not to leave her alone at such a delicate moment, the Principal sent a message to be delivered to her class, informing them of the situation.

He hoped that things would end up alright.

+0+

Mahiru Koizumi, being Hiyoko's friend, was the one who ended up reading the message.

Worried for her friend, she called for the help of all her classmates in searching for Hiyoko. That was another key moment. Had she decided to do it herself, things would have ended up being very different.

The fifteen students spread out across the school (having been released from class early due to the circumstances), and any one of them could have ended up being the one to find Hiyoko. However, said person turned out to be Mikan Tsumiki, and that is when she enters the story.

+0+

The Ultimate Nurse had no idea where to look, and no idea what she was going to do if she actually found Hiyoko, but she wandered around the school, eventually leaving the main building and wandering around the surroundings.

As luck would have it, Mikan managed to spot Hiyoko hiding besides one of the trees, and decided to approach her.

“Hiyoko... Are you okay?” She asked, hesitatingly.

“Why are you here, you dirty pig?!” Hiyoko screamed at her in response.

“I'm sorry!” Mikan replied, but she didn't move away.

Despite that shout, Hiyoko wasn't doing well, and Mikan could tell. The Nurse steeled herself by thinking of Hiyoko as one of her patients. And it was then that the final critical moment of the day arrived. Their conversation could have gone in many different ways, most of them ending with no change in the feelings between the two, but that wasn't what happened.

“I'm sorry about your dad.” Mikan said, taking a courageous step forward.

“This is not any of your business!” Hiyoko replied, her tone still harsh, but lacking the energy to even insult Mikan further.

Emboldened by Hiyoko's show of weakness, Mikan took a few more steps forward, speaking again:

“He must have really loved you, since you're so sad now.”

“Why... Why won't you leave me alone...?” Hiyoko asked.

“I wonder how it feels... Being loved...” Mikan spoke in lieu of a response.

Hiyoko couldn't reply to that, so Mikan got even closer, finally crouching down next to Hiyoko and putting a hand on her shoulder.

“Don't touch me!” Hiyoko shouted, punching wildly and hitting Mikan's shoulder.

It hurt, but the nurse did not back down. She had felt much worse before. She simply moved herself even closer to Hiyoko, to the point where she could even feel her breath, and kept speaking:

“What was he like?”

Mikan felt Hiyoko go limp at that point, it seemed like she had given up struggling, and after a few seconds of silence, she started speaking:

“D-dad was very kind... He was always by my side... He would always watch me dance... With a smile... He always tried to protect me...” Her words were spoken haltingly, her eyes were tearing up.

“So it was true.” Mikan said “He really did love you a lot.”

Hearing that was the last straw for Hiyoko. She broke down crying, letting her body lean on Mikan's. Seeing that, the nurse almost instinctively wrapped her arms around her, then cringed, expecting to be hit. However, Hiyoko simply continued crying, and Mikan's hug became more confident.

+0+

Later on, Hiyoko sent a message to Mahiru, saying that she was with Mikan and setting up a meeting place. Soon enough, the photographer had come to check up on her friend, and although Hiyoko's tears had already dried, Mahiru could tell she had been crying, and made an effort to try and set her mind at ease.

What she didn't know was that Hiyoko was, at that moment, struggling internally. Her sadness over the news of her father's death had passed for the moment (it would keep resurfacing many times over the following months), but that left her with an entirely different struggle: How was she supposed to deal with Mikan from that point on?

She had bullied the other girl relentlessly, and Mikan still had that same personality, that gave her the urge to bully, but after what had happened between them, Hiyoko was now feeling guilt and regret in regards to her previous actions.

Mikan didn't realize it at the time, but her words and actions had actually managed to touch the heart of Hiyoko, who was in a delicate state of mind at the time. Simply receiving comfort from Mikan would not have had such powerful effects, but the specific way she did so actually left a deep mark.

Hiyoko felt ashamed of herself. She had acted so cruelly to Mikan, but the other girl still helped her

at such a moment, instead of kicking her when she was down. And then there were the girl's words about wondering how it felt being loved. Did that mean she had never been loved before, even by her parents?

Maybe it was because of her current emotions, but the idea felt unbearably sad to Hiyoko. It made her wonder about what Mikan was really like deep down, when she previously didn't care much about her.

And she felt like she owed something to Mikan after that, an idea that she would have rejected out of hand before that. But how was she supposed to make up for it?

Soon, an idea came to her mind. Mikan was always the target of bullies (like herself), so Hiyoko could protect her and teach her to protect herself. And with that, she would also be able to get to know the other girl better. And with that, she would resolve her concerns about Mikan's words.

Hiyoko resolved herself to do that, and thus the path to that unlikely destiny had been solidified. Her decision would lead to events far different from what she could have possibly imagined, but in the end of it all, Hiyoko would not regret it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I finally start what I was planning for a while. I had the idea to ship those two after a particular scene in Talent Development Project, and the idea behind the plot came when I was trying to think of a way for their canon versions to plausibly end up together.
> 
> This is going to be a wild ride, as you can see from the tags. Regardless, I hope you guys enjoy it.


	2. Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Hiyoko talks to Mikan, and a promise is made.

When the following day came, Hiyoko found herself thinking deeply about how exactly she should go about doing what she planned. It was easy to say that she was going to protect Mikan, but the actual logistics of such were far more complicated.

Still, it wasn't like it was impossible. Hope's Peak Academy was extremely flexible in the matter of student schedules, and Hiyoko herself tended to not follow a rigid schedule of activities, instead simply doing things as she felt like, sometimes training her talent but often simply playing around.

Hiyoko knew that Mikan spent most of her time on the Nurse's Office, dealing with whatever small injuries and ailments the students of the school were afflicted with. Perhaps the best way to do things would be going to visit Mikan and observe her as she did her work.

Thus resolved, Hiyoko went to that place, and met Mikan who had just finished setting everything up for another day of work. That was when the first snag hit.

“Hi-Hiyoko... What are you doing here...? Oh no, did you get hurt somewhere?!” And that was Mikan's quickly jumping to conclusions about why she was there.

“I'm not hurt, you-” Hiyoko stopped herself suddenly, realizing that she had been about to insult Mikan. That would probably be counterproductive to her goals “You nurse!” She finished lamely.

“I'm sorry for being a nurse!” Mikan apologized. Apparently, Hiyoko hadn't quite managed to keep the aggression off her voice. That was going to be difficult.

Hiyoko wanted to tell her to not apologize, but she had a feeling Mikan would simply apologize for apologizing, so she took a deep breath to calm herself down before speaking with the least threatening tone of voice she could manage (she wasn't very practiced, but she could still do it):

“You don't need to apologize for that. I just wanted to see what you were doing.” It took a lot more effort than she had expected to force those words out.

“See what I was doing...?” Mikan cringed a bit “Ah... I'm sorry I'm not doing anything interesting.”

Hiyoko really felt like snarling at that point, but she controlled herself. She wasn't going to let Mikan make her angry, not matter how annoying she acted. Instead, she took a deep breath and managed to bring her tone of voice even:

“Could you tell me about what kinds of things you do on an ordinary day here?” She asked.

Mikan hesitated quite a bit, but eventually started talking about concussions, and cuts, and heatstroke and all kinds of common injuries she had to deal with, before speaking about some rarer ones that mostly happened because that wasn't a normal school, such as electrocution, acid burns and all sorts of other weird things.

Hiyoko found herself enjoying hearing Mikan. She wasn't cringing away or apologizing for nothing, which were some of the things that really made Hiyoko mad, and the things she talked about were actually pretty interesting.

And that was when Hiyoko realized something:

“Hey, Mikan.” She interrupted the nurse “You really seem happy when talking about people being hurt.”

At that moment, Mikan seemed to remember just who she was talking to:

“Ah... No, I mean... Sorry... It's not...” Mikan spoke haltingly.

And yet, Hiyoko didn't get angry that time. It felt like she had learned something new about Mikan. It was pretty interesting that the girl who acted like a frightened bug would actually have a side like that.

At that point, Mikan's excuses were interrupted by the arrival of someone else. It was a boy from one of the other classes, the Ultimate Biker Gang Leader or whatever. His arm was bleeding pretty heavily.

Upon seeing that, Mikan completely forgot about Hiyoko, instead running up to the boy (Mondo Owada, that was his name) and fussing over him, asking about what had happened (a motorcycle accident, apparently).

Still, at some point, Mondo realized that she was in the room, and he spoke to her:

“Ah? The gremlin is here too? Did you get sick?” He asked.

“Who are you calling a gremlin, you helmet-hair weirdo?” She fired back, unwilling to allow him to get one over on her “And no, I'm not sick, I just decided to spend my time here, which isn't any of your business!”

“The fuck did you call me?!” He spoke up.

“Please don't fight!” Mikan screamed.

Hiyoko swallowed the retort she had been about to make, and Mondo made a “Tch” of annoyance, but he also kept silent. There was no more talking while Mikan dressed Mondo's wounds. And when it was over, he shot her a suspicious look, but did not say anything as he left the office.

Mikan then looked at Hiyoko again, and said girl became curious about something.

“Why don't you do that?” She asked.

“Ahhh... Why don't I do what?” Mikan replied.

“That...” Hiyoko shook her head “I mean, when it's about nursing, you can even make those guys behave, so why do you act like such a wallflower any other time?”

“Ah... Eh... I...” Mikan pressed her hands together, struggling to find the right words “I-I couldn't do that... If someone like me tried to... Do that...”

“And it's different when it's about nursing how?” Hiyoko asked.

“Nursing... Nursing them, they can't say anything... Because it's for their own good...” Mikan slowly replied.

Hiyoko started to understand how Mikan thought “So, you can act like that when they won't complain...” She spoke slowly “Is this because you want to be loved?”

“Ahh-” She stuttered “I-I'm not... I... Even though I don't deserve it...”

It was all because of love, then. Hiyoko wondered how Mikan had gotten to the point where she could say (or at least imply) that she had never been loved. Hiyoko wanted to ask “Didn't your parents love you?”, but she felt that she would be crossing some sort of invisible dividing line if she did so, and she didn't know what would be on the other side.

So instead, she asked another question.

“But, that didn't work, did it?”

“Huh?” Mikan didn't seem to understand.

“You said that you didn't know what it was like being loved.” Hiyoko spoke firmly “So, that means acting the way you do never worked, you were never really loved.”

“Ah... I...” Mikan's eyes were tearing up.

“You need a change.” Hiyoko spoke before anything else could happen “So I will help you.”

“Ah?”

“You helped me when I was sad, so it is only natural for me to help you in return.” Hiyoko was going forward with her idea “I'll help you find love.”

“You'll... Help me?” Mikan couldn't believe it.

“Yes. I promise.” Hiyoko replied.

Once again, she had no idea of what the result of her actions would eventually be.


	3. Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Hiyoko and Mikan find some common ground.

Hiyoko felt like there wasn't any point to staying at the Nurse's Office any longer at that point, so she asked Mikan when she would leave to go back to the dorm. The answer was “around 18:00”, which was somewhat late, but not enough to be a problem.

“And do you have anything to do back at your dorm room?” Hiyoko asked.

“I... I wanted to do some more of my special nursing study...” Mikan said “I have a lot to learn, anyway, so...”

“Is this study something you have to do on your room? Or can you take the materials somewhere else?” Was Hiyoko's next question.

“I-I can take them somewhere... Its just a few books... Nothing that heavy... Do you need me to go somewhere?” Mikan replied.

“Right. In that case I'll go pick you up at your door, so we can go to my room.” Hiyoko said “We'll need to discuss... All that I mentioned, and my room would be a good place for it.” She then realized that Mikan was suspiciously silent “Unless you'd be more comfortable in your own room?” She asked.

That seemed to snap Mikan out of her reverie “Ah, no... I don't want to inconvenience you...”

Something about those words didn't sit well with Hiyoko, but she decided to think about that later “Okay, then I'll see you there.” She said, starting to walk out the door “I'll leave you to do your work.”

Then she left the room, thinking about Mikan's behavior and wondering what it was that bugged her so much about it.

+0+

The rest of the school day went by with relative normality, with the only point of note being Mahiru asking her what she had been doing earlier. And when she said she had gone to visit Mikan...

“You... You aren't going to do anything to her, are you?” Mahiru asked, with a concerned expression.

“No!” Hiyoko replied, perhaps more harshly than she'd intended “I just wanted to pay her back for helping me... is all.” That was hard for her to say, even though it was Mahiru who was asking.

“Ah...” Mahiru's eyes softened “Okay then. That's good.”

Soon enough they were talking about other things, but that conversation had brought some things into note for Hiyoko. Mostly the fact that even Mahiru had thought the worst of her when she brought up Mikan. That really didn't feel good.

Hiyoko still had those thoughts in her mind when it came time to meet with Mikan.

+0+

She knocked on the door to Mikan's dorm room and waited.

“Ah, sorry, I'm almost there!” She heard Mikan's voice. Soon after, the door was opened.

“Huh, Hiyoko?” Mikan looked surprised “You're... here to take me?” She finished with hesitation.

Hiyoko wanted to ask Mikan if she thought the other girl was joking about what she said before. But then she realized that... It really sounded like something she would have done, raising Mikan's hopes just to never actually show up.

Shaking away her conflicted feelings, Hiyoko forced herself to talk calmly, asking Mikan to take her things and come.

The other girl complied, though she still seemed to be at a loss in regards to the situation. The walk to Hiyoko's room was awkward, though at least it was blessedly short. Soon enough, Hiyoko pushed open her door and allowed Mikan entry.

The nurse looked around with a puzzled expression. In Hiyoko's own opinion, her room was extremely beautiful and full of class. Her curtains were elegant handmade designs, she had a variety of traditional decorative paintings, and she even had a trio of elegant fans arranged on a desk, which she only used for special occasions.

Hiyoko didn't think Mikan was appreciating the beauty of her room, though. The girl eventually turned back to Hiyoko and asked a question slowly and carefully, with a pleading expression on her face:

“Ahhh... What do you want me do? Do I need to strip for this, or...?”

“No!” Hiyoko couldn't help but scream.

“I'm sorry!” Mikan apologized loudly.

“Don't... You don't need to apologize...” Hiyoko managed to speak.

She didn't seem to hear “I'm sorry! You don't want to see my ugly body, right?! You don't need to, you can hit me through my clothes instead!”

“Mikan!” Hiyoko shouted, causing Mikan to look at her with panic in her eyes.

At that moment, Hiyoko didn't know what else she could do, so she wrapped her arms around Mikan in a hug (the girl cringed, expecting pain), and whispered to her:

“It's okay. You haven't done anything wrong.”

That didn't seem to have a lot of effect, except that Mikan's trembling reduced a bit. Without removing her arms, Hiyoko spoke those same words again and again, and slowly Mikan seemed to calm down. At that point, Hiyoko released her and asked:

“Are you feeling better now?”

“Yes... Thank you...” Mikan smiled at her.

That smile hit Hiyoko like a physical blow. She hadn't been planning to probe, but found that she couldn't help it. Initially she wanted to ask about Mikan's parents, even though she already had an idea what kind of answer she would get, but that topic felt a little too raw to speak about after she had just calmed down. So instead, what Hiyoko asked was:

“Did you get bullied while you were young?” She knew that it wasn't very appropriate for her to ask that, but she had to.

“Bullied...? Ahhhh... I mean....” Mikan seemed to not know how to respond “It's not like... They were bullying me...” She started “For someone as worthless as me, it was just natural to be treated like that...” She stopped for a moment “It's better than being ignored...”

If Mikan's previous words had been like a physical blow, those were more like a knife. She trembled almost imperceptibly and swallowed twice. Then she started talking:

“When I was younger, there were a lot of people who didn't like me, or who felt jealous.” Mikan looked at her in shock but said nothing “People put pins in my shoes, dead mice on my bed... Once I even had to go to the hospital because of poisoned food.”

Normally, Hiyoko would never have talked about her past, but Mikan's words had truly affected her that much.

“I knew who they were, of course.” Hiyoko kept speaking “They couldn't resist giving me those little smiles, just to mock me, but they would deny anything whenever I accused them.” She shook her head “Over time, I began to fight back by attacking them with words, and soon I had become used to it.

“Things weren't any better at school. I considered the other children as beneath me, and they could tell. I think my first real friend was Mahiru, who I only met after arriving here.” She finished and looked at Mikan.

“Why... Are you telling me that...?” She asked, uncomprehending.

“In my case, I ended up becoming a bully to protect myself. While you simply accepted everything... Neither of those is good, but at least you didn't start harming the weak.” Hiyoko closed her eyes “You're better than me, Mikan.”

“AHHH?!” That seemed to be the thing to startle Mikan the most of everything in the day, she stuttered so much that she didn't manage to actually say anything for quite a while. Hiyoko only observed and waited.

“I'm not-I'm not... Not anyone good... I'm awful... I deserve everything...” She spoke slowly.

Hiyoko wanted to deny it, but knew that wouldn't do any good. Instead she asked “What exactly makes you so awful?”

That seemed to bring her to a halt, she tried to speak several times, but something on Hiyoko's gaze made her back down. Eventually though, she opened her mouth:

“I...I'm a bad person...” She was clearly struggling to bring the words out “Everyone says I'm so kind for helping other people... But the only reason why I do that...” Her eyes began to tear up “The only reason... Is that I want to have power over other people... When they are hurt or sick, they can't do anything without me... That's what I like...” She finally finished, then looked at Hiyoko, waiting for a rebuke.

The other girl wouldn't give her one, however. Hiyoko was surprised to hear Mikan's words, but after everything that had happened on such a short period of time, she wasn't shocked by them, and she actually thought about what Mikan had said before answering:

“Mikan...” She stopped for a moment upon seeing Mikan cringe, and continued with a gentle tone of voice “What you said means you're not pure and flawless... But that doesn't mean that you deserve to suffer.” She stated.

Mikan opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. Hiyoko continued “Being bullied might be better than being ignored, but I can guarantee that being loved is a lot better. Didn't you want to know? How it was like being loved.”

“I...” Mikan wasn't able to say anymore. Hiyoko kept going.

“I promised you, didn't I? That I would help you find love.” She spoke solemnly “I know you have all the reasons to not trust me... But I really mean it.” Hiyoko sighed “I really hope I can show you, that I don't want to cause you any harm.”

She extended a hand towards Mikan. Said girl looked at the hand and half-sobbed, half-choked. She looked straight at Hiyoko and then to the hand, again and again. Eventually, she swallowed and reached out with her own hand. Her entire demeanor showed that she expected nothing but pain to come of it.

But she took the other girl's hand. And Hiyoko wished that the spark of hope she had seen in her eyes wasn't just imagination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this chapter is pretty much the real beginning of the story. Hiyoko is now fully commited, and Mikan has been acquainted with the very unfamiliar emotion of hope.


End file.
